Massholin

Final Mass Days

The last days of vacation we're all about this. Griff's colossal slot car track in his basement. There had to be 100 feet or more of 1/24th style car racing track. Little guy would ask every day if we could go over there so he could thrash Griff's most prized possessions.
While older little guy would constantly want to go to the Mattapoisett skate park. Shitty concrete quarters with seams everywhere that rolled out to skin disintegrating tar were "wicked fun" to him. By the end he was pushing his mongo ass fast enough at this 6 footer to get 7' off the ground.
Ahhhh, as the "vacation" came to an end with family back east it was a quick transition to the work world. Which was a mellow shop loop to VT, NH, MA and CT with Mr. Piatek.

Moose rome the side of the road in Vermont.

While shaved lion cats roam the homes in the maple syrup capital.

Scott Stevens is a Masshole. Born and bred. Mardi Gras in Springfield.

Concepts in Boston. Responsible for the two Lobster SB's that were quite a hit with collectors.

Lobster's round one came in a wooden lobster pot. Sick.

Round two came sealed in a hazardest waste carton. It's all about the packaging and presentation.

Spongie runs the shop. Watch out for the GELK. Downstairs from the shop is this misty ass VIP room. P-Rod, Big Poppi, some Celtics and various others have keys to the doors down here, where they find $800 Guchi sneakers and shit.

I worked as a security guard in college at this place in Harvard Square. Till I got fired.
Because of this dude. He's a fellow Pollack and he and I worked at that shit hole. One night were on the phone talking shit to each other. "This place sucks. I hate these Jewish owners. I wish they'd just eat a dick, you know what I mean?" "Uh hey yea I hear you but I'm looking at the phone here and it's says all calls will be monitored." "Fuck those guys, their way to stupid and cheap to listen to our shit. Anyway..." The next day we were called into the office and let go. Stupid Pollacks.

This is my room mate from colleges wife, Carrie.

Who sent his boat 30 feet into the air and into this yard. Beers, boats and bitches don't mix. Pretty funny that the boats name is Defiance. He should change it to "re-finance."

Homeward bound now, just as I'm getting used to the humidity.

New Bro Hymm

How right this message board bro was: "I'm pretty sure anyone can sing in monotone. It shouldn't be too hard to replace him, the snowboard bro's can't live on NOFX alone."
The dude couldn't have been any more on point as ultra snowboard bro Tony Sabatella steps out from the sidelines and onto the mainstage as PENNYWISE'S new front man. Tony's first comments about the new gig: "Are you fucking reeeeaaaaaaady???!!!"
Congrats Tony and the new Wise.

No more "woa ohhh ohhh ohhh?"

"After 19 years with Pennywise, Jim Lindberg has decided to step down as lead singer. Pennywise has long stood behind the motto that you should always follow your heart and pursue what makes you happy, and we wish Jim the best of luck in his new ventures, whatever they may be. Pennywise has become a way of life for a lot of people, and has definitely become a way of life for us. As the three remaining members of Pennywise we feel that we are not done delivering our message to our fans.The band has always been about moving forward in life no matter what obstacles stand in front of you. We will begin our search for a new singer immediately. We will continue to tour the world and we are looking forward to writing new music. We've had a lot of good times and survived the hard times thanks to the undying support of our fans. We're looking forward to what the future may bring."

Dude...harsh toke. What the hell am I gonna do? Time for T-Sabs to finally step up and fill his destiny.

Provincetown

I grew up in MA and on the Cape but had only ventured to P-Town once. For good reason too. 10 min there to go to a ATM. Honestly I was scared of this place. So yesterday we took this across the Cape to P-town to see...

This, in all it's glory.
This is that fat Hollywood Squares guy. No idea why he's famous. Queens

Burger Queens.I have the feeling that half these guys that were acting gay, were doing it so they could innocently grind up on the hot ass fag hags.

Detune time at the Chatam skate park. Metal ramps?Gnar homemade cement bowl.More MA ass visiting today. Reunion of sorts with the SAH Frat of mine from Salem State College. SAH? You never heard of it? Suck A Hog. We had no frats so made up our own.

Yea Logan

Logan used to work with us at COAL. He was the dude that did all the spec'n for the O.E.M. customers. He also worked at Markus Martini Bar where the Seattle Paper voted him the "Hottest Bartender in Seattle." No doubt now with this TV action, Logan will be swimming in tail.

While we're away

The Boar's in good hands! Thank LTD.

More Method Mag Madness

Ultra tweek

The man is killing it.

More old East Coast Friends

I used to race BMX with this kid. Wow. As they say back here, "what a lou-sah!"

Busy

Is what the warehouse will be this week. Full of COAL and Union.

I leave you with this...

I’ll be out of the office for the next TWO weeks in New England re-becoming an ASS in MASS. A week plus torturing myself with family and friend visits trying to convince myself that it’s fun.Then a road loop with Mr. Piatek. Strap in cause this is the type of crap you'll most likely be seeing on the BOX the next few. Be patient with me. Thanks.

Dude!

This kid went to highschool with me. Actually I ran track with him. He was fast as fuck. I was not. How the hell do you go from hero to zero? "According to court records, Ramos had a criminal record that included prior arrests for marijuana and cocaine possession, trespassing, larceny, assault and battery and disturbing the peace. Most of those charges were dismissed. He was twice placed on probation for drug-related offenses."
Damn dude, they call it dope for a reason.

Ryan Sheckler Celebrity Widget

Proactive, RS by Ryan Sheckler, Double Pits to Chesty and now Milk. Dude does not know when to quit. It's called cashing in, not selling out by the way. Yea bud!

Cheese dick.

Proper

Methy out of the Razor bowl in Woodenville. Good style for a mongo footer.

Dick Shape Tipped Powder Boards

This was the Baldface trip we did this year. I'm running a GoPro helmet cam (without helmet), and then Chappy had me call in and narrate a clinic about the board we were riding.
Pretty stoked on this.

Hades

Pretty funny C3-Superpro clinic video from Laura Hadar.

You're queer? I...I...mean gay?

So I've been swimming laps for the last few years a couple of times a week to try and keep my back all functional. And it works. I go to the old peoples pool at the top of Queen Ann and get 40 laps in 2-3 times a week. I love this pool too, no competitive kooks thinking that their the next Mike Phelps or shit like that. Well last week I stopped in a buddy's store in Bro Cal that sells swim stuff and somehow walked out of there with some goggles that fit my beak, a SwiMP3 player and a...speedo. Not the nutt hugger type but still, it's some spandex shit that supposed to let you swim a little faster than my normally turtle pace.
Today was my maiden voyage with the new gear. Jumped in the pool and had the most incredible swim ever. Swimming with music was awesome. Instead of looking underwater the whole time trying to get a mellow perv in, I just swam and swam and swam. Got out of the pool and jumped into the sauna to relax before coming back to work and this my friends is where the real story begins.
Some old dudes in the sauna and he and I start talking. Injuries come into conversation and old dudes got a knee replacement, shoulder replacement and a recent hip replacement. He's dropping f-bombs left and right and then when I ask him what he does, he says "I'm a retired professional football player! I retired in the 70's." Oh word? Cool, what'd you do after football? "I wrote a book." Rad! After that? "Nothing, no one would hire me because of what I said in my book." Oh you mean a sex, drugs and rock and roll type book huh? "Yea kind of, but I also came out in my book." Pause....You're QUEER???!!! I...I...mean gay? "Yea but we didn't call it that when I was your age. We just fucked anything and everything. I got to get out of here, I'm burning up." Later, nice talking with you.
Then I go shower and start to change when one of the real old guy regulars comes walking in laughing. "I just heard one of the little kids say that there were a lot of old men in the locker room." You know what you tell em next time? "What?" That your a rich old guy. "I wouldn't do that." Yea true, you'd save that line for the women's locker room wouldn't ya? "No, I wouldn't." Why not? "Cause I'm gay, that's why!"
Damn speedo is in the trash, back to swimming in trunks.

This weekends activities

Damn! D.Way ain't got shit on this dute.

Hey Guy, meet me at the Bucks and we'll get a Frappy!

6 Bentley's, 2 Ferrari's, 2 Maserati's, Bob Burnquist and Eddie Spagetti were peeped in 56 hours while down in So Cal. I went down on Monday morning to hook up with our man in the field, Skyler, for the start of the travel season roady visiting shops and seeing "what's up" out there. Along the way we saw 22 shops and got Todd Richards to give me his personal snowboard, autographed to boot. If that wasn't enough, I even bought a Speedo to swim laps in and a Power Balance bracelet for flexability and balance. Sucker.

"Dude, look at my store! There ain't a cool brand in here. I fucking look like a mall shop!"

Recession my ass, 300 plus sku's of sneakers on a wall!

Reto Lamm and Terje showed up in a Sushi shops bathroom.

Huntington Beach Pier.

Huntington Beach ass.

Venice Beach ass. "Bitch your ass so big, I can see it from the front!"

The Crapper Critic hits Liberty Board Shop. These are zero to ten ratings with a ten being the highest and bestest.

Softness of asswipes – 6
Cleanlyness of the bowl - 5, not bad, not good. Wouldn't be afraid to squat down on it, thats for sure.
Reading material quality – 9, old classic photo's, chicks on the wall, and ltd edition Leo Romero boards pushed the rating.
Reading room space – 9 I could really spread out in there.
Beat material present? 6, Didn't see any mags or anything like that, but plenty of girlies on the wall that would help get the job done.
Extras (hand soap, towels, potpourri, candles, air freshener) – 6, nice amenities.
Overall rating (10 is tops, 1 is shit) A solid 7.

PW in the house on rental sticks. RECOGNIZE.

Good Man Down. The guitarist from LIT's other band. I felt like I was at my 25 year high school reunion watching these dudes. Dick targets galore, jean shorts and Ed Hardy permiated the room. We met a bro waiting for them to come on: "Man I love these guys. You know how some bands are good musicians but suck live? Well these guys are awesome, their harmony is insane. Wait till you see them." They were a cross between Bryan Adams and some arena rock band. BEAT.
Eddie Spaggetti and Jordan Shapiro on the other hand, kicked ass. "Tonight you guys are in for a treat. Tonight we're not gonna be good, we're gonna be awesome!" Ed was on his way to Brazil to play for a bit.

Zoe.

"To Johan - May you always remain a Masshole! Todd Richards 09"The Boar doesn't give a shit that he's sleeping by the world champs board either.