Grown Man Fantasy Trip

Picture this, you've been shredding for almost 29 years, still a total fan of the lifestyle of snowboarding and the dudes in it, as well as love nothing more than being on the hill ripping around with your family and friends.  Now picture that you have a job and can almost afford to get flown to a mountain top lodge and shred untracked pow for 4 days whilst riding around with a couple of guides and 11 dudes in a snow cat.  Then get out of the cat after a hard day of slaying the white stuff and drink beers for a couple of hours telling each other how hard you just killed it.  Now step that thought up a notch and stock the lodge with shred dudes that you've admired their skills on the hill from images in magazines and movies so you can bro down, talk shit, take a run and do car bombs with.  Who would those dudes be?  Terje? Jamie Lynn?  Brian Iguchi?  Pat Moore?  Iikka Backstrom?  Mikey Rencz?  Jess Kimura?  Danny Kass?  Curtis Ciszik?  Seth Huet?  Yea, well I don't know if ALL of those guys would of been on my top 5, but a half dozen of them would of made my top 10.

THIS was our annual trip to Baldface.  A C3 cat with George, Brad, Blue, myself, Gumby, Sweaty, and some buds from the business that said "fuck it, I want in on your little pow oasis."  Zumiez CEO Jim Bob and his private avalanche forecaster Josh Burch, downstairs Kenny, art guy long beard Jared, Propaganda Adam, No Limits Nick and some two time Olympic Half Pipe Silver Medalist named Danny Kass all made up our 10X10 aluminum box that sat on a quarter of a million dollar snow cat.

After a hell drive from Seattle on Sunday morning, we arrived at the Canadian boarder just in time for them to search our Suburban.  4 dudes, all clean cut, with jobs, multi international visits on their passports and the hicks at the Canadian boarder search our car?  Fuck Yea Canada...seriously?  We come up there with boat loads of cash to spend and you question us if we have booze or drugs when your country is filled with nothing but weed growers and alcoholics?  Anyway, into Nelson just in time to catch the last heli up to the lodge with just the four of us and Mr. I'm Wicked Important CEO guy lets out two heli filling ass blasts that had the pilot searching for rough air to clear the cabin out.  Upon arrival to the lodge, it was clear that the other patrons that were filling the cats were also having troubles at the boarder, roads and airports.  Ahhhh, Can Ah Duh.

Four days worth of storms, plenty of cm's of fresh pow, lots of laughs, Craig's cross, people still wondering how to turn on the GoPro's, beers, Hendrix and tonics, car bombs, incredible food, two stretch classes, a massage, Volcom's True To This movie premier, pow turn after pow turn after pow turn, face shots a porn star would be jealous of, avalanches breaking all around us and mingling with the uber pro's and it was time to leave.

Our last run of the trip put the Volcom cat and ours at the top of the mountain for a mega shred to the lower elevations for the heli ride out.  "Sup there Terry (Terje)?  Yea hey Jamie..." We could say that now, cause we were all Baldface Lodge bro's.  CEO guy and I were getting the fantasy run that we were joking about all week.

And it was rad.

See how it says "Boarder Inspection?"  They mean it.

 I knew from this view that we'd be searched, cause I could see Brads car already in the search zone.

 Heli taxi

 Uber dudes arriving...

 A very efficient welcoming speech by the proprietor.

 Cat 1

 Cat 2

 Cat 3

 Teah the cat driver on the left, Cordell the tail gunner in the green.  Two of the best.

See the Chez Disastro Martino sticker in the tail?  Marty was with us in spirit.

 Danbo, Adam, George and Bob.

 GoBro shots

 Bernie wanted to spend a weekend at this place.

 This avy forecaster never predicted this mitigation to happen.

 Look at all them efficient stickers

 Leg of lamb

Weekend At Bernies star holding Terje's weapon of choice.

Nick incurred a few extra costs on this trip:  Cancelled flight to Cancelguard - $400, last minute snow tires - $1,000, petrol from Vancouver to Nelson - $150, hotel for the night - $100, missing a day on the cat - $800.  But it was all worth it when he was balls deep in the snow.

CAPiTA Spring Break decks were ridden

 John Blue and Ms. Kimura

 Last run of the trip, on Craigs Cross run, CEO and Weekend At Bernies star laid out this slasher.

 The crew, top to bottom:  Me, Danny, Gums, Ken, Josh, Bernie, Sweaty.  Bottom: Joel, Nick, Brad, George, Adam and Jared.

 Pretty much sums us up.

Standard parting shot

Sweaty kept smiles on everyones face the whole trip, including my miserable self's.

Thanks for every thing Jeff, Joel, Cord, Teah, Greg and the rest of the staff.  As well as a super thanks to all the dudes that made up our cat:  Bob, George, Brad, Kenny, Jared, Nick, Danny, Jim Bob, Josh, Blue, Adam, Sweaty, and Jess for being the best group I've shared Baldface with.
See you next year Baldface. 

Day 1 and 2 at Baldildo

Baldface 4.0

Shits going down on Sunday.  Sweaty, Blue, George, Brad, Propaganda Adam, Downstairs Kenny, Jim Bob, Kind Bud Burch, Jared, Nick, Danny Kass and myself....BALDFACE BOUND!

So T1TS

SCORE.  That's how to sum up Krauth and Griff's trip out west this past 4 day weekend.  Pow, more pow, shred hero's and puke.

Thursday the boys landed and we were on the hill by 5PM for the best night session I've ever had.  Lines filled in every run, park pow was off the charts.  Buckets were thrown.

 GoHard and Dangler are in town filming CAPiTA's movie for next season, STAY BADASS. 

 Yep, everyone where's a helmet these days. 

 Breakfast of multiple shats.

 Korn-Occoloppo threw down in Shims meadow and didn't get his pass pulled.

 The camera failed everytime Griff got radical.

 Cowboy hike proved worthy.  Griff got delirious and Krauth got pitted.

 Even though Griff wears black, his light shines.

 THIS was the shit.  Parking lots packed on the weekend, no pow to be found?  Yea, heard of Chief Tree's to the road? Good.  Don't do it, it sucks.

 Logic texted me this:  "Burton Pillow Fight AND Scott Sullivan in the foggy goggle? If Griff can't get laid tonight he should sleep on the train tracks. "  Griff didn't understand.

 We picked up a stranger for the evening.  He puts the strange, in stranger.

"Yea, uh Scott Sullivans playing at the mountain tonight boys, wanna go?"  "Yea, sure"  "Oh and Wes Makepeace and Jamie Lynn are playing with him too." 

 Griff can puke on command.  He has limited lung capacity because of his prior career as a wood worker.  Therefore he usually pukes after getting after it. 

 

 Shit's still funny EVERY TIME.

 Gnar found us some uber mini bike lines yesterday.

 Korn

 Milo had to step shit up a notch.

Good trip fella's.  Thanks for coming out.  See you boys next year, with Matty B and Toe Knee.

Post script to this post:

"Oh man what the fuck, YO you need to get back in your truck.  For some reason I feel real weak, could be that I left my phone on your teak.  I know I got to fly my ass home, but how can I do it without my phone?  Please send me my mobile device, so I can look at the photo's of me not riding ice. "

THE best show on TV these days

All the drama with the Oh-Limp-Dicks have been killing me the past two weeks.  No Shawn, Danny, Nate, Tora, Trevor or Lindsey ending up in the winners circle?  Oh the drama.  Bob Costa's and the rest of them ole balls commentating just suck.  Period.   Then all the gay ass ice skating and dancing they run over and over and over...what the fuck?  How the hell is ice dancing a sport?  Yea, there's an athletic component to it, but if that's a sport, then ballroom dancing and break dancing should be in the summer Olympics.  Downhill skiing's rad to watch, I love seeing them own the mountain.  Them dudes and ladies are true athletes.  Ted Ligity?  The man is the truth.  But half pipe skiing is a joke.  Why do them clowns have ski poles that are two feet tall?  I guess it's the same reason they run bindings that randomly let them eject from their skis.  Bump skiing?  Are you kidding me.  Bounce, bounce, bounce, do a stupid air, bounce, bounce, bounce, even dumber air, then pretend your still bouncing but going straight and then pump your fists in the air.  Shit only fly's if your at Hunter Mountain and you drove your Trans Am to the hill with your ski's in the trunk.  Aerials, Jesus Christ we have high diving in the summer Olympics, there's no need to repeat the crap in the winter.  Snowboard Cross made me cringe. Holy shit, was that embarrassing.  Yea, let's put 6 dudes on a course, watch them roll down the windows on every jump so they look like their jumping off bridges, then have the entire field wipe out cause they can't handle the course, and then call THAT the excitement of Snowboard Cross.  Even worse watching the ladies knock themselves out and blow their knees.  When you watch Supercross, do you see the entire field eat shit every moto?  Point made.  Then that attention whore that just won't stop, Lolo Jones.  That chick just sucks.  Please get it over and pose in Playboy.  CHOKER.

Fuse TV, thank you for Insane Clown Posse Theater.   It's the only thing saving me from putting a gun in my mouth and blowing my head off because the Oh-Limp-Dicks have cock blocked every decent show from running these days.  Thank you Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope for your raw dog opinion on pop culture.