Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Stupid Quote 101


"Pain is temporary. It may last a day, a week, a year or longer, but eventually it will subside and something else will take it`s place. If I give up, THAT lasts forever." Lance Armstrong

What? Shut the fuck up Lance. Try typing with your only your left hand, or wiping your ass switch! I just crapped for the first time in 4 days cause that Percocet binds you up like concrete. Anyway I go for the switch wipe and get a back cramp that almost dropped me. Instead I'm spinning around in the bathroom like a dog chasing his tail trying to rid myself of it. I had to make myself a Polish handi wipe out of paper towels and hot water...

Then the big question and hurdle to overcome in these next 6 weeks is pulling stick! I’ve tried a stranger but never felt comfortable enough with it to take it to finish. 6 weeks is a long time to be without your right hand.

Time for a Full Sail.

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:08 PM

    Maybe it's time for The Liser to finally lend a hand.

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  2. Just remember that Lance is half the man you are.

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  3. Anonymous6:08 AM

    doesn't your wife pull it for you?

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  4. hide the peanut butter!

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  5. Anonymous12:56 PM

    Last time i was on the perkies I shit a dry softball.

    I thought my butthole was gonna bleed. so gnarly.

    Once the thing finally worked its way out, it plopped into the toilet like a lead ball- splashing water all over my ass cheeks.

    I looked to down to see check the nature of the beast and it god-damn rolled back into the pipes it was so heavy.

    Fuck those things.


    da menace.

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  6. Anonymous2:55 PM

    Taking dumps on pain pills sucks. When I had my hip replaced, I didn't shit for 2 weeks. That's really bad. It took a couple days and several sessions of grunting and crying to get that sucker out of me. I wish I woulda had an air conditioner cooling me down. Cold air intake style. It was like shitting a square bowling ball. I felt like reaching in and pulling it out. When I looked in the bowl all that came out was a couple of pellets. I thought I'd split my butt open. It opened the fload gates and got things moving though. The next couple days were awesome, man.

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  7. Anonymous1:33 PM

    I wish Wirtanen had as many sex stories as he does poop stories and star wars stories- throw some boobs in there next time you homo

    ReplyDelete