I asked him what a kid that gets everything wants for his birthday. He couldn't give me an answer. "Dad, I dont need anything. I'm the worst as it is as THEY get everything I want and end up getting it for both the kids to justify my shit.
So I made him a fitting birthday card that was in the same flavor as my fathers day card, except I added tits to it, where his just had a huge penis on it.
Then instead of getting him something material, I gave him kind words and some "coupons" he could turn in when he needed.
Dude works at the pool everyday teaching swimming to these rodents.
This was a pretty good apres fathers day gift I got the other night after the fact. We were watching Morris from America. Shits pretty funny. There was a line in there between father and son regarding the dad charging the son for having a big ole dick. You gotta see the movie, totally worth it. But I had the opportunity to change the text slightly and use it on my boy. Loved the response.