Dear Union,
I recently got back from a four week adventure out West, in a small town called Crested Butte. I don't know if you have heard of this mountain, but it is home of the most extreme terrain on the continent. This mountain tests body, mind, and certainly, equipment. From the four board shops on the mountain, none of them were selling Union bindings, but all will be selling them next year. This is where I would like to make you an offer. I am a professional snowboard instructor, AASI level III certified, and had been in Crested Butte doing some staff training, teaching, and epic riding. Unfortunately, a snowskate got the best of me, sent me to the E.R. and my Venture Helix snowboard, and Ride NRC bindings were stolen while I was under the knife. Being I will need a new setup next year, I was wondering if you are interested in me promoting your product. Next year I will again be training staff and teaching in Crested Butte, and I would very much love to test out the Force-MCs and their durability at the most extreme mountain in the US. If you are interested in someone representing and promoting your equipment out west, please shoot me a quick email and we can work out any questions or concerns you might have. Thank you for your time, I look forward to hearing for you soon.
Sincerely,
Nathan
AASI Level III
As well as getting a MILLION of these every fucking weak:
Hey Capita!
I really love you brand of snowboards and was wondering if you could send me some stickers. I would love to represent your awesome stuff!!
My address is:
Julia Lane
172 Misty Rd
Kingstown, RI 02852
Thanks, and keep on rockin'!
It's the same EXACT letter that comes in by Email and by written mail. We did some investigative work and found that this is the dildo that got this ball rolling. Represent our brand? Really?
it's not that dildo, it's this dildo.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.snowboard-stickers.net/snowboard-sticker-blog/email-list-for-free-snowboard-stickers
Guy sounds legit, I'd put him on the pro team today!
ReplyDeleteHe rides for Top Phlite.
ReplyDeleteGot to love ski schoolers.......Send him Wykers way
ReplyDeleteI bet you've never even heard of Crested Butte!! And you guys clearly need more repping out West.... duh!
ReplyDeleteGotta love that Backcuntry is pimping out your brand to give out free shit... They are the Amazon.com of snowboarding. Cheap and easy way to look more core.
ReplyDeleteyou lost me at, '' I am a professional snowboard instructor (sure you are crocodile dune-on a fucking vacation-dee), AASI level III certified...''
ReplyDelete-j.
backcountry promoting you guys to give away/lose money while they rape people on the other side and are making millions. sac-cuntry. pretty funny that someone from RI sent in that letter tho.
ReplyDeleteThe button "delete" get's used on everyone of these emails, while the circular file receives each and every lettered request.
ReplyDeleteThrow a post it note in their SASE that reads
ReplyDelete"We include stickers with our products. If you'd like Union stickers, please buy our products. Dick."
I still remember having to put up w/ these donkeys when we ran the shop. Only crap part of the job. I think the business they brought in was just south of squat.
ReplyDeletei hate dealing with fucking instructors... in canada they all get burton proform cards. we are a tryon outlet for local douchebags.
ReplyDeleteab
I don't understand anyone that is okay with snowboard instruction. On either side.
ReplyDeleteTHANKS FOR READING MY COMMENT
Reach X Frequency can't be overemphasized in extreme terrain
ReplyDelete