Monday, March 10, 2014

Grown Man Fantasy Trip

Picture this, you've been shredding for almost 29 years, still a total fan of the lifestyle of snowboarding and the dudes in it, as well as love nothing more than being on the hill ripping around with your family and friends.  Now picture that you have a job and can almost afford to get flown to a mountain top lodge and shred untracked pow for 4 days whilst riding around with a couple of guides and 11 dudes in a snow cat.  Then get out of the cat after a hard day of slaying the white stuff and drink beers for a couple of hours telling each other how hard you just killed it.  Now step that thought up a notch and stock the lodge with shred dudes that you've admired their skills on the hill from images in magazines and movies so you can bro down, talk shit, take a run and do car bombs with.  Who would those dudes be?  Terje? Jamie Lynn?  Brian Iguchi?  Pat Moore?  Iikka Backstrom?  Mikey Rencz?  Jess Kimura?  Danny Kass?  Curtis Ciszik?  Seth Huet?  Yea, well I don't know if ALL of those guys would of been on my top 5, but a half dozen of them would of made my top 10.

THIS was our annual trip to Baldface.  A C3 cat with George, Brad, Blue, myself, Gumby, Sweaty, and some buds from the business that said "fuck it, I want in on your little pow oasis."  Zumiez CEO Jim Bob and his private avalanche forecaster Josh Burch, downstairs Kenny, art guy long beard Jared, Propaganda Adam, No Limits Nick and some two time Olympic Half Pipe Silver Medalist named Danny Kass all made up our 10X10 aluminum box that sat on a quarter of a million dollar snow cat.

After a hell drive from Seattle on Sunday morning, we arrived at the Canadian boarder just in time for them to search our Suburban.  4 dudes, all clean cut, with jobs, multi international visits on their passports and the hicks at the Canadian boarder search our car?  Fuck Yea Canada...seriously?  We come up there with boat loads of cash to spend and you question us if we have booze or drugs when your country is filled with nothing but weed growers and alcoholics?  Anyway, into Nelson just in time to catch the last heli up to the lodge with just the four of us and Mr. I'm Wicked Important CEO guy lets out two heli filling ass blasts that had the pilot searching for rough air to clear the cabin out.  Upon arrival to the lodge, it was clear that the other patrons that were filling the cats were also having troubles at the boarder, roads and airports.  Ahhhh, Can Ah Duh.

Four days worth of storms, plenty of cm's of fresh pow, lots of laughs, Craig's cross, people still wondering how to turn on the GoPro's, beers, Hendrix and tonics, car bombs, incredible food, two stretch classes, a massage, Volcom's True To This movie premier, pow turn after pow turn after pow turn, face shots a porn star would be jealous of, avalanches breaking all around us and mingling with the uber pro's and it was time to leave.

Our last run of the trip put the Volcom cat and ours at the top of the mountain for a mega shred to the lower elevations for the heli ride out.  "Sup there Terry (Terje)?  Yea hey Jamie..." We could say that now, cause we were all Baldface Lodge bro's.  CEO guy and I were getting the fantasy run that we were joking about all week.

And it was rad.

See how it says "Boarder Inspection?"  They mean it.
 I knew from this view that we'd be searched, cause I could see Brads car already in the search zone.
 Heli taxi
 Uber dudes arriving...
 A very efficient welcoming speech by the proprietor.
 Cat 1
 Cat 2
 Cat 3
 Teah the cat driver on the left, Cordell the tail gunner in the green.  Two of the best.
See the Chez Disastro Martino sticker in the tail?  Marty was with us in spirit.
 Danbo, Adam, George and Bob.
 GoBro shots

 Bernie wanted to spend a weekend at this place.
 This avy forecaster never predicted this mitigation to happen.
 Look at all them efficient stickers
 Leg of lamb
Weekend At Bernies star holding Terje's weapon of choice.
Nick incurred a few extra costs on this trip:  Cancelled flight to Cancelguard - $400, last minute snow tires - $1,000, petrol from Vancouver to Nelson - $150, hotel for the night - $100, missing a day on the cat - $800.  But it was all worth it when he was balls deep in the snow.
CAPiTA Spring Break decks were ridden
 John Blue and Ms. Kimura
 Last run of the trip, on Craigs Cross run, CEO and Weekend At Bernies star laid out this slasher.
 The crew, top to bottom:  Me, Danny, Gums, Ken, Josh, Bernie, Sweaty.  Bottom: Joel, Nick, Brad, George, Adam and Jared.
 Pretty much sums us up.
Standard parting shot

Sweaty kept smiles on everyones face the whole trip, including my miserable self's.
Thanks for every thing Jeff, Joel, Cord, Teah, Greg and the rest of the staff.  As well as a super thanks to all the dudes that made up our cat:  Bob, George, Brad, Kenny, Jared, Nick, Danny, Jim Bob, Josh, Blue, Adam, Sweaty, and Jess for being the best group I've shared Baldface with.
See you next year Baldface. 


  1. Not bad at all, nice work Old Men!

  2. Yep, that's pretty much my bucket list.

  3. oh hell yes!!!!--it's finally sunny, let me check in on the YoBlogg:

    bald is beautiful, such a rad place.
    that volcom cat was probably a smokebox the whole time.
    please report on hot chick staff members.
    did you ram into any ultrasupernatural features or were they already gone?
    is there a chance in hell I'll ever get back there?
    are you really ever comfortable in a helicopter?

    fuckin yessssssssssssssssssssss though hot shit!


  4. and a big FUCK YOU to the other people he's shared Baldface with!!! ahahahahahahaha suckers