Yea yea I know...

...it''s a scooter.  It's gay, be a man and skateboard and all that shit.  But still...hard not to appreciate the kids skills.

Thanks DOUG.

Not me

Ben posted this on Facedildo today.  So good.   I had freaking goosebumps at the ASR premier during this part. 

Sunday Sunday Sunday

From:  Matt Cummins
Ha, there are lots of classes. I will make sure no one sandbags: )
40 plus- cruisers
Pro
Expert
Am1
Am2
Groms

Happy Birthday DAD

My pops birthday is today.  Happy 68th Goatman.  For your birthday I pulled the trigger and bought the kids a real trampoline.  Actually we sold a bunch of winnings that Milo's accumulated from a couple contests he's done and almost paid for this.  10 X 17 jobber.  Expected delivery May 5th.  Let the back yard games begin.

Rhythm and Bruise this weekend

Again, get your ass there. Plenty of snow in the NW, plenty of shredding left to do. This from the dudes at White Pass: "Here's a shot of the first section of the Rhythm n Bruise course from the start mound. This was yesterday's progress. Coming together nicely. Today we started the 3rd section of 5. This course will not disappoint. More pictures to come as the weather improves...Zak"

Gonna be spraying in Chilean, you know what I'm saying?

Always good vids on here, this one from the Chileans the make the annual trek to Stevens is even better. Jose Gonzales tunes too. 

Rahlves in Juneau

"Here's a pic from yesterday. It was nasty looking from the top.  Laid into a grind and rode two runnels on the way down."

Boars Vaca

Having animals, especially a board certified AKA papers and all pure bread beagle, is tough when you go on vacation.  Picking the right animal sitter is crutial.  You got to keep your guy all stress free while your de-stressing.
For the past few years LTD Kyle always stayed at the house and brought the Boar to work with him.   This kept the pure bread in his routine.  But there was always surprises to come home too when he watched the animals.  One time, I found panties in my bed (meaning he fucked on my sheets), another time he forgot that he locked the Boar in our bed room for 10 hours and when we came home from 2 weeks on another coast, we found that Boar pissed all over our bed cause he was incarcerated in our room for too long.
So...seeing how LTD has a mutt, thats a little angry these days cause he's all short and shit, and he's busy with all his art fag stuff, we figured we'd ask Tonto and Jew-Lee to watch our 15 year old pure bread AKA papers certified show winning beagle.  Every day on vaca we'd get a little update and photo of what the Boar was up too.  It was kinda funny and very comforting to know our $17,000 free beagle was in good hands.
The photos and quotes were too good not to share so here they are.  By the way, their dog isn't allowed on the furniture or nothing.  Boar ain't having that though.
Thanks Tonto's.

"Just went on a walk..xo"

"I am awesome"

"Bullshit"

"Prison"

"Good nite"

"Good morning"

"Family Nite"

"Doing his thing"

"Living the dream"

"Clickity click"

Wiener picking up his buddy on Saturday.

California Dreaming vid

Yea we had fun, but Disneyland still fucking sucks. Eat a dick Walt.

HBD

Hey Johan,
I've been rippin on the TFA since it showed up on my doorstep from Porters back in Feb.  Recently celebrated my birthday and my wife got a local baker friend to make me a Totally FK'n Awesome cake, laser tits and all.  The board graphics were completely hand painted with food coloring.  Rad!
-Brian

California Dreaming

The Rats Spring Break fell the weak AFTER the mountain closed so it was no week in Skykomish shushing down the slopes for us this year.  Time to find something else to do.  Hmmm, our friend from college, Kim Zip or Meadow Soprano as I refer to her, has a rad pad in Cardiff, plenty of room, a extra vehicle and has begged us to stay with her.  Ok.  Seemed good.  The beach is 6 blocks away, Disney, Wild Adventure, skateparks, etc are all in the driving circle and I guess there is a rule in the parent book that at one time in your life you HAVE to take your kids to Disney.  So I cashed in 120,000 Alaska Air miles and off to So Cal we went the day after Stevens shut down.

The Sea Tac shuffle, thank God for status.

Zips place before we arrived.

Zips place after we arrived.

Wild Adventure Park.  Look at them prices.  Makes skiing seem cheap.  At least here you know your money goes to the preservation of animals.

Hey look, a line.  Shouldn't take long.  50 min later...

See how fun waiting in line is kids?

Wiener looks like the Joker with all that Vitamin Water staining his mouth.

Flamingos

Love these dudes.  It's like watching PK in his natural habitat.

Long necks.

Wasn't that fun?  "Dad, can you take us to the skatepark now?"

Why Em Sea Aye!

Dis-NO.  Let the memories begin?  Fuck this place.  $500 ripoff.

This was the only fun ride.

Look, fake moose, fish, Indians, dogs...the shit was so fake it shined.  Good effort WALT.

The Boars future tomb stone in our yard.

Indiana Jones ride.

Right when the ball comes rolling at us.  Ohhhh so scared.

Autotopia ride.  50 minute wait for a 3 min go cart drive.  So worth it.

"Really Dad?  That was it?  I want to drive your truck around Skyomish instead."

This was pure awesomeness.  We ate at Pipes then came out to get the Toyota and go to the beach but this thing was sitting 2 cars away.  Dude on the left is shooting photo after photo of the thing.   I walk between him and the Ferrari and go, "you wanna take a ride?"  Guy looses his shit and goes "you serious?"  "Nah, just fucking with ya bro."  Then walk off to the 4Runner while the guy says " I don't like you."  Yea I don't like me either, but that sure put a smile on my face.  Thank Walt Disney for letting my memories begin.

YoAm footy

"Hey Dad, you didn't suck that bad at surfing today."  Thanks Mac.

And ending it all where it began, the Y.  Double sessions too.  $40 to skate 3 hours.  Wow, but considering where we've been, this was a steal.   Specially since it produced miles of smiles.  Good thing to end on. 

Seattle, see you tomorrow.

Hometown Hero

Good Brisse article in the Hicktown Daily.

Fuck you Walt Disney

Seriously, Disneyland sucks.  This places fucking blows.  We drove up from Gnarlsbad (heaven) to Anaheim (gangland) yesterday, got a hotel and got ourselves situated so that today we could attack good ole Disneyland this morning.  $40 in gas + $160 hotel, $40 dinner, $280 Disney tickets, $40 lunch and $20 in bus pass = 6 hours total at Disney dildo = 3 decent rides and 3 shit bag rides.

Hmmm wait in line for 50 min to do a 3 min ride?  Sure why not speedy.
Have instructions for the ride spoken to you in Spanish?  You betcha amigo.
Watch fat fucks eating the hell out of ice cream with a 40oz Coke side car?  Sure tubby.
An overabundance of Tap Out tee's?  Hell yea tuff guy.
How about them Sketchers fitness sneakers on 400 pounders?  Yep that will help.

I feel raped.  Walt, I want them 6 hours back of my life that your place stole from me.  Give me that and you can keep my $580 you mother fucker.  I hope Mickey is gang raping your right now with Goofy filming.  
Anyone reading this, take my advice:  NEVER, EVER spend your money and take your family to Disneyland.  The place SUCKS.  Period.

"Hey look Dad, a bunch of paper mache mooses in the water!"  Sick.

"Awwww, that was sick. That was sick."

Gnarlsbad YMCA is one hell of a skatepark.  The big ramp is BIG.  Bigger than anything lil guy has ever encountered.  On top of that it's his first day skating again since last October.  The only dude skating this thing was some Monster Energy pro doing all sorts of X Gaymes shit.  Milo watched, waited then walked up and got some.  Wiener is obviously stoked as he pushes away mongoid.

"Boom, Boom, I 'd a shoot the whole room!"

Stevens Pass closing weekend

10" new on Friday, Saturday a little overcast and Sunday SNOW. On closing weekend to boot. April 17th and it's still snowing, with 140"+ for a base. And we're CLOSED? WTF.
Anyway, good season all the same. Fun time Stevens Pass. Thanks for hosting us once again this winter.

Guido's kidz

Nasty...wicked nasty actually.  Makes riding the east seem like an option.  Hi-lites...heelside to mute at 1:23, board to melon at 2:24 and just the straight up shit at 3:20!  Real CiViL.

It's kinda funny

...that it "used" to be cool enough to let someone borrow your cabin to stay in.  And maybe...maybe as a sign of appreciation they'd leave you a present like a bottle of whiskey or something.  But nah, fuck it that thoughful shits for pussys.   Lately there's been 3 different folks that have been frequenting the Stabbin Cabin and on top of that, frequenting my booze.  Lots of it.  I left the cabin two weekends ago and cleaned this sauce recycling bin out the day I left.  This is what I came back too.  Actually after I took this picture another bottle of Jack was found under the sink.  Yea, stoked on house guests.  Real stoked.

Drunk Unkled

Dave got busy this week with the warranty bins and built up 10 pairs of these bad boys.  $150 ea.

Check out the rest of the creations here.

Dog Pelligrino?

Wow, the similarities here. Dog vs. Ben Dildo Pell-Ah-Knee-Grow at ASR in 2002.

Thristy?

I love this shit

This could be one of the better perks of my job, receiving gems like this one:

Dear Union,
I recently got back from a four week adventure out West, in a small town called Crested Butte. I don't know if you have heard of this mountain, but it is home of the most extreme terrain on the continent. This mountain tests body, mind, and certainly, equipment. From the four board shops on the mountain, none of them were selling Union bindings, but all will be selling them next year. This is where I would like to make you an offer. I am a professional snowboard instructor, AASI level III certified, and had been in Crested Butte doing some staff training, teaching, and epic riding. Unfortunately, a snowskate got the best of me, sent me to the E.R. and my Venture Helix snowboard, and Ride NRC bindings were stolen while I was under the knife. Being I will need a new setup next year, I was wondering if you are interested in me promoting your product. Next year I will again be training staff and teaching in Crested Butte, and I would very much love to test out the Force-MCs and their durability at the most extreme mountain in the US. If you are interested in someone representing and promoting your equipment out west, please shoot me a quick email and we can work out any questions or concerns you might have. Thank you for your time, I look forward to hearing for you soon.
Sincerely,
Nathan
AASI Level III

As well as getting a MILLION of these every fucking weak:

Hey Capita!
I really love you brand of snowboards and was wondering if you could send me some stickers. I would love to represent your awesome stuff!!
My address is:
Julia Lane
172 Misty Rd
Kingstown, RI 02852
Thanks, and keep on rockin'!

It's the same EXACT letter that comes in by Email and by written mail.  We did some investigative work and found that this is the dildo that got this ball rolling.  Represent our brand?  Really?