Robbed!

Seriously? You can steal a dudes chick, but don't fuck with his lawn equiptment!
Home early from the hill yesterday due to two soccer games, and figure its time to give the yard a little attention. Pick up 10 pounds of dog shit first, then go to the shed to grab the brand fucking new weed wacker to get busy with but when I open the door I see nothing. No blower, no hedge trimmer and no weed wacker. Just a lonely lawn mower and some rubber boots. Crooks stole all my good shit.

This thing had one use in the yard before it got poached. Sucked anyway. Should of dropped another $50 and got the good one. Like I did yesterday after I realized the shit was gone. Now I've got $400 invested in a weed wacker. Awesome.
This things the balls. Trim my bushes up in little round circles and stuff. Felt like Edward Dildohands with this thing. I love this thing. Or I used to loved it.
This was a Christmas present from Tonto. It is the ultimate in yard tools. Funner to use than a power washer. I'd be that crazy dude in the neighborhood walking up and down the street cleaning it, blowing all the rocks off the road. Take it to the skate park and clear the concrete too. This is the thing I'm most pissed about. When I find the fuck that stole this thing, I'm gonna jam the tube up his ass, start it up and blow 500 psi out his rectum.