That the Boned Age is my favorite flick of the year. Maybe of the last 5 years! There are so many memorable lines from this thing that brings you back to the days of yesteryear when shred movies didn't just entertain by countless snow porn revolutions front and aft, forward and back, natural and unnatural. A time in snowboarding when movies had timeless quotes like "sprayinChilean, you know what I'm saying?", "Call 911, this phone has no 11" "Farmers rap", anything from TB, Fall Line, Creatures and of course any of Whiteys movies that had skits and personality.
Yea "That's it, That's all" is incredible. I'm actually watching it again as I type. This things more Discovery Chanel or I-Max bound than it is for an actual snowboard movie. After watching this thing my cock feels like a vagina, and I watch these things for entertainment not to feel any more inadequate about myself.
The Boned Age delivers chuckles. "Chill babe we got some alcohol." "Not even we brought the Schnappster! What you don't get down on the Schnappsterista?" "Disco dude over there makes $4.25 an hour." "Now you want to shred the gnar? Make it gnar. Put a little woo tang on your kicker. Butter that muffin. Slaaaasssshhhh it man!" "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? I thought I told you your not playing this Chad rock in the blue torpedo!"
The riding's pretty retarded too on top of it. Danny delivers and then some but guys like Benji Ritchie and Kyle Clancy shine. Shit I even loved Magoon's part and that dude makes me hate snowboarding.
The highlight though for me was Triple Threat reclining high back Flow rider Scotty Lago's part. Holy shit does he make Flow look cool. That closing shot method a hundred or so feet to face was out of site and a fine way to end the film.
Even if he did grab Euro.
No link huh? Figures. Who's the broad?
ReplyDeletei love that girls tits too.
ReplyDeleteMagoon makes me hate snowboarding too.
ReplyDeletemagoon=dickslapper
ReplyDeletethe dingo makes me hate snowboarding
ReplyDeleteThe Dingo ain't snowboarding though. He's a white Sal Masenkala or better yet the Paris Hilton of Snowboarding. I'm cool with the Dingo, he is what he is and calls himself out.
ReplyDeleteMagoon just makes me cringe. Oh his parents must be sooooo proud.
I will watch this. I was finsta watch it on the massive commitment to the theme alone...basing your whole shit on an unknown "dazed n confused" is good enough for me: The Stoned Age was copied by Dazed N Confused," right? It's like how GoBots get clowned for being shitty Transformers, even though they were the OG's. Or something. Crazy shit.
ReplyDeleteIf you can hear "Dont Fear The Reaper" after seeing that shit, and not imagine a giant flaming eyeball...
I didnt like this movie. Danny's part was sick, Lagos part was sick, everything in the middle was average. The old grenade movies were much better. Night of the Living Shred and Revenge of the Grenerds were the best IMO
ReplyDelete"even if he did grab euro", classic! You should put that as your blog's tagline.
ReplyDelete"my cock feels like a vagina" brings back very bad memories.
ReplyDeleteRanquet rules clearly state:
ReplyDeleteNo man shall ever grab in front or behind the bindings unless it is the tip or tail.
Methods shall only be done with front hand firmly gripped on saids one heelside edge between the bindings, unless of course the said shred is from Europe. Then Euro method is acceptable.
Travis Parker later threw in an amendment to the latter rule stating:
One shall be able to grab method on one saids heelside edge in front of the bindings if they are from North America but frequently travel to Europe.
What if I have a 9 inch stance and large hands?
ReplyDelete-getting Juicy Fruit with the nethods for about forever-
9 inch stance? Then you're slalom waterski'n bud or Jason Krauth rocking a 167 Kemper Screamer with 3 strap Kemper bindings and double cant plates.
ReplyDeleteside story: i had a 17 inch stance back around sometime late 80's? on my nitro pyro with elfgens and jack and andy coghlan made fun of me. i was bummed.
ReplyDeleteHe made fun of you for that???!!! Then you moved on from that rad 17" stance to repping O'Sins? Lateral move buddy.
ReplyDeleteWho am I to talk though, I got a Rad Air tattoo.
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ReplyDeleteoh and i finally watched this film. im drinking nothing but "the schnappster" from now on!
ReplyDeleteyes they were all pro-apocalypse at the time tryin to pawn of jimi-scott boards. it was either that or get a hand me down mistral from Rusty Windshield. i did neither and held out for a craig kelly.
ReplyDeleteThere's a Jello Biafra song that he does with the Melvins in there called "Enchanted Thoughfist" that is, perfect. Might have to make a footskating vid with this as thesong....
ReplyDelete