It says it right on the front door of C3’s Global Headquarters in Seattle: ‘We are closed if one of us gets any tail in 24 hours’. And that’s exactly what Seattle’s ONLY Snowboard Company will do on Saturday, February 17 thanks to a Mr. Blue Montgomery pulling in some passport poon tang while in Europe.
"Nothing makes me happier than giving the people who work here the opportunity to experience the essence of a sport that they are making accessible and fun for so many others,” says Johnny Cawkballs, Vice President of Sales Prevention at C3 Worldwide. “Coincidentally while Blue was pulling a three pump and dump, the C3 Worldwide senior management team spent last night at the top of the Space Needle getting loaded because some dumb ass left their wallet in the bathroom. Waking up to a wicked hangover with bad gas ass (and plenty more coming) might have made for some cancelled meetings and an unproductive day at the office, but we all work pretty hard around here and sleeping in is our best source of energy."Mandatory sleepy days are not the only unconventional benefit C3 Worldwide offers its employees. Free use of any and all toilet paper in any of our 2 bathrooms, generous product discounts of 10% above retail on product left over for more than a couple of years, and the ability to wash our hamsters off in the sink we do dishes in are just a few of the perks for working for C3.
C3’s Seattle Headquarters also features a flagship product store with the largest selection of C3 Worldwide products that are sold cheaper than any of the shops in town have the goods marked at. Or you can buy our shit on line; click buy now on our web site, you can't miss it as we were the first to go 30% off. We also have some of the products we have warranteed mounted on the wall that act as killer beer cup holders.
When you’re in Seattle, be sure to drop by C3 Worldwide Headquarters – as long as it’s not on a powder day, in which case you’ll find the doors closed and all the employees writing dumb ass press releases claiming about how gay they are cause they snowboard. Big fucking deal dildo, that’s what you’re supposed to do.
"Nothing makes me happier than giving the people who work here the opportunity to experience the essence of a sport that they are making accessible and fun for so many others,” says Johnny Cawkballs, Vice President of Sales Prevention at C3 Worldwide. “Coincidentally while Blue was pulling a three pump and dump, the C3 Worldwide senior management team spent last night at the top of the Space Needle getting loaded because some dumb ass left their wallet in the bathroom. Waking up to a wicked hangover with bad gas ass (and plenty more coming) might have made for some cancelled meetings and an unproductive day at the office, but we all work pretty hard around here and sleeping in is our best source of energy."Mandatory sleepy days are not the only unconventional benefit C3 Worldwide offers its employees. Free use of any and all toilet paper in any of our 2 bathrooms, generous product discounts of 10% above retail on product left over for more than a couple of years, and the ability to wash our hamsters off in the sink we do dishes in are just a few of the perks for working for C3.
C3’s Seattle Headquarters also features a flagship product store with the largest selection of C3 Worldwide products that are sold cheaper than any of the shops in town have the goods marked at. Or you can buy our shit on line; click buy now on our web site, you can't miss it as we were the first to go 30% off. We also have some of the products we have warranteed mounted on the wall that act as killer beer cup holders.
When you’re in Seattle, be sure to drop by C3 Worldwide Headquarters – as long as it’s not on a powder day, in which case you’ll find the doors closed and all the employees writing dumb ass press releases claiming about how gay they are cause they snowboard. Big fucking deal dildo, that’s what you’re supposed to do.
that was as dumb as the dumb as press release
ReplyDeleteExactly the point of it. Why the hell would you write a press release about a snowboard company going snowboarding? Thats like Vivid Video writing a release that they fucked on Friday or something. Stupid.
ReplyDeleteWay to go Blue! I think you're missing the most important lesson to be learned from this incredible press release...somebody around C-3 pulled tail other than the Old Reliable.
ReplyDeleteI don't even read this shit.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least until the ROME guys call me in the middle of the night laughing about how funny some press release is. I was hung over and completely confused when I got the voice mail as to what the fuck they were talking about.
Now that I read it, I don't even know what Johan's talking about.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that Johan loves blogging more than a 16 year old girl, or the fact that Cavin, Runke, and Paddock log in at 2am on Friday night to read it before they tuck each other into bed!