Boating Blues

Me: How many days you got on the lake trick skiing guy? Got your toe loops down? Who's driving your ass thru the course?

Mahrtee: My skiing has regressed to every other weekend if I can get someone to pull me, no more course on the lake so you are right perhaps I should take up trick skiing!
My boat is either out of gas when I get in it, I have been in Europe the past 10 days got home last night and this morning the trailer was broken so I could not drop it in. Make sure when you kids turn 20 kick them the fuck out of the house.
I finally reach a point in my life and have a house on the lake, a great ski nautique and no one to waterski with. It is even horrible on the weekend mornings. I feel like selling the boat and buying a fucking jet ski.
This morning I went to put it in the lake and beach it so I could repair the trailer. When I uncovered it, it was trashed, worst I have ever seen it. Then I noticed the prop was dinged and loose. I cleaned it up and finally dropped it in only to find it on fumes and tough to make it across the cove to beach it in front of the house. All gas cans empty.
Advice my good friend? Please tell me I can just beat the shit out of him now that he is 20?

Me: Well don't really know what to say except that I was up at 5am, on the lake at 6 and now I'm here at 9! So far a good day. Slapped my balls so hard on a fall, that the water that went between my eyelids didn't hurt one bit. 5 other boats out too. Sunny, chicks running along the lake, and in a half hour I'm gonna go work jerk. Your problem was.....